Alchemy Warp
by Cloud Piece
Summary: Grand Central has a flash mob, and Edward's in the middle of all it. Obviously. Plus, the real reason Father wanted to destroy the country. Because doing it for nothing is pointless, no?


**Don't ask where this came from. Just don't.**

**I know I didn't cover the whole song, but, meh.**

Edward almost pulled out his antenna when he heard Hughes sing that stupidly ANNOYING AS HELL song for the gazillionth time. What was worse was the fact that Alphonse sang and danced with him. Edward didn't mind if they did it quietly, but obnoxiously loud and annoying at that-

"It's just a jump to the left!"

His thoughts were cut off by a blast of music coming through the sealed window, nearly shattering the glass with the volume. Edward threw a chair, table, kitten, book, and anything else out of his way before storming down the corridor, fists clenched and fuming.

"THEN A STEP TO THE RIGHT!"

There were way more voices this time. It sounded as if the entire MILITARY was singing. Edward could even barely make out the rough voice that belonged to no other than Armstrong -of course he was there- and a deep voice that was Roy Mustang -how the hell did Hughes convince him to join?

Edward stomped and barged into every room in the building (He got bloody when he accidently entered a ladies room), then quickly apologising to an empty room before entering the next one and repeating the process.

"Put your hands on your hips."

It was just Hughes speaking. Edward narrowed his eyes and glared at a window. "Outside!" he growled to himself. He wrenched the window open as fast as he could, then searched outside for Hughes, climbing on the sill.

"AND PULL YOUR KNEES IN TIIIGHT!"

Edward covered his ears; it was too damn loud! However, his hands were the only thing keeping Edward's balance, so he tilted forward slightly then toppled over completely.

"AAA-"

"AND IT'S THE PELVIC THRUU~UST THAT REALLY DRIVES YOU INSAA~AA~AANE~!"

Edward's scream was drowned out by everyone else's singing/screaming. Luckily Edward landed on a bush.

"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT!" Edward roared, sprinting around the corner of the building. "HUGHES YOU BASTA- huh?"

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!"

Well, the entire military WAS singing and dancing. They filled up the entire front of it, and a bit outside- and oh crap!

It wasn't the whole military.

It was the whole city.

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!" The people sang. Edward gaped at the crowd. Hughes spotted the alchemist first. He jumped down from the platform and gave Edward a warm smile, which was returned with a fist flying towards a cheek.

"Ow!" Hughes cried out, rubbing his cheek. "What was that for?"

Edward cracked his knuckles. "For getting me up!" He leered at Hughes before glaring at the crowd. "I GOT NO SLEEP LAST NIGHT BECAUSE OF YOU ALL!"

Alphonse held up his hand in protest. "Brother, we were just having some fun!"

"Yes, Fullmetal. We were simply enjoying ourselves."

Edward nearly fainted. "F... Fuhrer King... BRADLEY?"

"The one and only," Bradley replied with a smile.

Suddenly, music out of nowhere entered Edward's ears. Edward gasped when he knew what he had to do.

"Come on, brother, you can do it!" Alphonse whispered.

"It's astounding..."

Edward sweat-dropped. The words flew so naturally from his tongue.

"Time is... Fleeting..."

He calmed down. Huh, it wasn't that bad after all.

"Madness... Takes its toll..."

Roy shoved Edward out of the way and proceeded to show off how good he was with a voice. A woman's undergarments were thrown towards the hunk.

"But listen closely..."

Some girls screamed.

"Not for very much longer... I've got to keep control..."

Armstrong stepped in.

"I remember doing the Time Warp,

Drinking those moments when

the blackness would hit me..."

"Everybody!" Hughes yelled. His voice seemed to echo throughout Grand Central

"AND THE VOID WOULD BE CALLING!"

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN~!"

"Again!"

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!" the crowd repeated rather cheerfully.

"It's just a jump to the left!" Edward sang while he jumped to the left.

"AND THEN A STEP TO THE RII~IIGHT!"

**Meanwhile, in the underground...**

"What's that music?" Envy smirked.

"The entire population is singing and dancing, Envy," Lust answered. She gave no sign of interest as she was inspecting her nails.

"Well, DUH," Envy rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna join in!"

"You do that," Lust waved off, quite bored.

"Perhaps I will too."

Lust's eyes popped out of her skull. "FATHER?"

"Yes, me too."

"... PRIDE? Where the hell did you come from?"

**Back at the headquarters...**

"With your hands on your hips," Roy sang. A few more undergarments were thrown, a man's as well this time.

"YOU BRING YOUR KNEES IN TII~IIIGHT~ BUT IT'S THE PELVIC THRUU~UST~ THAT REALLY DRIVES YOU INSAAA~AAANE!"

Fireworks went off when the crowd sang the next bit.

"LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN~!"

Only the military sang.

"Let's do the Time Warp again~!"

The music stopped abruptly. There was a moment's silence. Someone clapped awkwardly, then another, and another, and soon the entire population was cheering and throwing roses and what not. Edward grinned and took a bow.

"Not bad, Fullmetal Shortie, not bad," Roy muttered. Edward shot a glare towards the colonel.

"I must say, I had no idea Edward Elric was that good a singer," Armstrong gave Edward a bone-crushing hug. "How about a song called 'We Are'?"

"No."

Armstrong's smile fell. "Why must young Elric reject anyone's suggestions?"

"I said no!"

**Meanwhile...**

Envy glared at the Headquarters, very annoyed at the fact that he missed singing and dancing. "Father!" he cried out, glancing over his shoulder so he could see the blonde man. "They did it without us!"

Father frowned. "I know. This will not go unpunished."

"We'll have our own flash mob, with a better song too!"

"I was thinking along the lines of destroying the entire country for a philosopher's stone," Father calmly shrugged.

"Yeah, that idea sounds WAY better!" Envy grinned. "Just you wait, we'll destroy you all! Mwahaha! That'll teach you to sing and dance without us!"

And thus, Father's great plan had started, with the victims having little knowledge of the danger they were about to face. A danger that was caused by that dance that day. A day that almost all would forget the next, apart from those who missed out.

**And there is the REAL reason Father wanted to destroy the country. There.**

**Reviews would be nice.**


End file.
